愛 Something of Love: Ai no Koto
A thing of “love.”
An emotion that
seals the heart.
Is it a curse?
I believe it is
one of the basic human desires to be loved. Whether or not this is something to be cherished or feared, I’ve yet to
decide, but the feeling remains still.
I know this; there
does not exist a child who desires not the love and affection of another. Nor is there a man who yearns not
for the touch of a loved one.
I recognize it.
Man has loved from the beginning, and shall love until the end. From birth to death the need to be so endeared grows within
each of us like a festering wound—one that will not relinquish its position. This weakness grows within each of us.
But some possess more fortune than others. There are those who find a loved one; for better or for worse.
And then there are
souls who are connected with a person for reasons unknown, and their love will be as unbearable as the stars’—not
meant for the bonds of mortal flesh. Ones such as they have a lamentable fate, and will know a bittersweet, agonizing love
few men deserve.
For what mortal
crimes beg such a beautiful, terrible punishment?
I have loved.
I have felt the
pain of loving someone more dear to me than life itself, and the grief that persists when love is gone.
I have loved.
I realize the sweet,
innocent bliss in a soft kiss, and understand the searing pain of a misspoken word.
What am I, then,
to know these things?
A wise, foolish
man once said, “It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” His words would seem as
wisdom, if it were not for the anguish that dwells within my heart. How can those sad, simple memories of mutual feeling
outweigh the agony I face now?
In my memory, his
eyes, wide and crystalline in frozen beauty, hold mine, and we look away, awkward. A moment passes, and he takes my face between
two callused hands, gentle, sweet, and we lean together. Our lips meet, and for a moment, time, life, existence is
I am a fool to think
love will withstand everything. Anything.